Wednesday, February 9, 2011

"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much." ~Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

     This is my favorite quote.  I believe that my children are a symbol of God's faith in me as a human being and if I don't honor and respect His faith in me then nothing else I do on this earth matters.  I am a single mom and I started this blog as a way to find my single mom "sisters". Being a parent is a huge responsibility.  Even when you have a partner, circumstances can make the responsibility more difficult.  This economy has made it hard for married parents when one has lost a job, or even if there are unfortunate circumstances such as an illness.  If you are doing it right, being a parent in general is not an "easy" task.  If you find yourself a single parent, the responsibility can be downright overwhelming.  I look at my poor kids somedays and think to myself, "These poor kids are completely dependent on ME."  Sometimes it is possible to communicate with the other parent and that is a huge help for you and it is always better for the kids.  Sometimes that doesn't happen.  For whatever reasons, an unfortunate passing, an ex with a new wife and life, or someone who has yet to realize just what a blessing kids are and has totally went AWOL, somtimes moms are in it alone.  This is why I started writing this today.  Life is hard and we all can use all the help we can get!  For me, personally, I get through it all with the help of my wonderful family and through my faith in God.  I know no matter how bad things seem, my kids and I are in God's hands and it WILL be alright!  I have my fair share of panic attacks and moments when there aren't enough bad words in the world to take away the stress, but ultimately I find peace in knowing that God is on my side.  I hope to gain from beginning this blog a chance to meet some wonderful "Spiritual, Single Mom Sisters".  I didn't come into this with the intent on using this space to bash my ex.  He seems to do a good enough job ruining his character himself.  It would be easy to vent at his expense, but I know that only hurts my spirit in the end.  He has totally ruined his relationship with his kids on his own so anything that I could say would only hurt my kids.  They have his actions on their hearts enough without me driving the fact that he just doesn't seem to care about them or their well-being.  It doesn't get back at him, it reinforces their feelings that he simply doesn't care.  I hope me and my new sisters can share support, information, and stories.  We can all use shortcuts to give us more time in the day, tips on saving money, ideas for those wonderful night before it is due projects, etc.  Also, we all at some time have to face the justice system and any information on that subject is always needed.  I am in court battle right now.  I have had to pay an attorney to take my ex to court to "make" him pay child support.  I did what I was supposed to in the manner I was supposed to and they found him in willful contempt.  Well, that didn't phase him, so now I had to spend more money for my lawyer to take him back to try to "make" him pay again.  Does this sound familiar to anyone???????  I am not always the brightest bulb in the box, but according to my bank account I am more in the hole than when it started.  I don't understand why he has a choice.  I am hopeful and prayerful that the next go around in two weeks will give me a little more faith in the "justice" system, but I am learning not to get my hopes up.  I don't have a choice to pay my electric bill, my car insurance, gas for that car, or food to put on the table.  The last time we were in court his lawyer said, "He will pay as soon as he can."  Well...........that won't work if I tell my kids I will buy groceries, or clothes, as soon as I can.  My dad's favorite saying is there ain't no fair but the County Fair.  It was a lot more funny before I had to go through all of this!  I can get mad, get depressed, get down on life in general, but that doesn't help me or my kids.  I have days that I am so angry, but then I look at my kids and realize that no matter how hard it is I have them.  They matter.  He may have the "party" lifestyle and may think he is having fun, but I know better!  I am raising these wonderful, fun, sweet people that think I am the best thing in the world.  That makes everything worth it!  I also know God sees what I do everyday and as long as I have my faith and trust in him, it WILL be more than alright!!!!!

 Just being a parent in general is one of the hardest things we, as adults, can do.  Being a single parent can be downright overwhelming most of the time.  If it doesn't overwhelm you and cause you the occasional, or mayble not so occasional,  panic attack, I don't think you are doing it right!  I didn't begin this to bash my ex.  Although that would be very tempting.  If I thought very much of him I would still be married to him.  I will just say that I am 100% responsible for my children.


Melissa said...

Very inspiring! My own father has done to us what your husband is doing to you and your children. I admire your strength and ability to forge ahead. You will raise wonderful children in spite of him. That Jackie O quote is one of my favorites, as well. It's so true that our children should be our top priority. God bless you and yours!

thesisterhoodofspiritualsinglemoms said...

Thank you so much, Melissa!