Tuesday, February 15, 2011

One of the hardest things about being a single mom is the days when we aren't feeling well.  We have way too much to do to be sick or not functioning at full capacity.  Some of us are burdened with ailments that are a lot more time consuming and draining that the common cold.  I had gestational diabetes with all three of the kids.  I was on insulin injections with my first, my daughter, Sydney.  It came back a little earlier with the other two pregnancies.  It is on my mother's side and my dad's side.  I, along with my brother and sister, was checked for it at every yearly check up growing up.  My symptoms came back few years ago and I was diagnosed with Type 2 a little over 7 years ago.  It is a pain more than anything!  There are a lot of moms out there dealing with a lot more life threatening issues so I almost feel guilty complaining.  I also genetically inherited problems with my back and neck.  After years of dealing with intense muscle spasms in my neck and some days not being able to move if I wanted to, I had surgery this past August to repair two ruptured discs.  I have a problem with every cervical disc and now I am having problems with my low back.  It isn't new, I just thought I overused it when I would have to baby my neck.  I think I chose to ignore it, but it won't let me anymore.
I went for an MRI last week, and I have an appointment today to find out what has fallen apart now.  Again, I realize I could be going to see an oncologist, so I try to stay positive.  No matter what we all have to deal with physically it directly affects our ability to mother some days.  I have heard so many times we have to take care of ourselves before we can take care of family, but who has time for that?  I won't ever forget one day at my primary physician's office.  My diabetes had not been back for very long and I was having a hard time getting it under control.  My doctor, a divorced man with no children, looked at me and said.  You have kids you have to take care of yourself for them.  I looked right at him and said, "I don't have time to be diabetic!"  We don't have time to deal with anything unnecessary and that slows us down.  After I apologized, I had to admit he was right.
We are so busy taking care of others sometimes we don't pay attention when God is taking care of us.  I was checking my email this morning and I clicked on my daily "Sayings of Jesus".  It was Mark 5:25-34.  It is the verses about a woman who had suffered for 12 years, doctors were of no help, and she had spent all she had but got worse instead of better.  By touching Jesus' cloak in a crowd she was healed.  When he turned around to see who had touched him she fell to her knees.  We, or maybe I should say I, don't always feel deserving of being taken care of.  I think sometimes we feel some responsibility for our circumstances, whether we should or not, and feel like maybe I deserve to be dealing with what I am dealing with.  I don't think God looks at it that way.  It is very comforting to know that whether we take the time, or feel worthy, God takes the time and knows we are worthy of being "healed" and taken care of.  For that, I am truly grateful!
So, now as I get ready to go see what is wrong with me this time, I know whatever it is God will be there with me!

As someone who will do anything to avoid housework, especially when not feeling well, I thought this quote was really funny!

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.---Zsa Zsa Gabor

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