Friday, March 11, 2011

Should I Stay or Should I go?

     Every woman has to decide at some point when she becomes a mother whether to stay at home or go to work.  A lot of women have put a lot of time, effort, and money into their education and career to just throw their hands up when they become a mom and say I hope it's still there when I am done here.  I knew I wanted a family and be a mom.  I had ambitions when I was younger.  When I started college my major was pre-law.  (Shoot! That would have come in handy later on with the divorce.) I later decided that Middle Grades Education would be a wonderful major that would allow me to have a career and family.  Great schedule and Great second income, but not so great for a sole income.  I was very, very blessed to be able to stay at home when my kids were little.  I don't regret that for a minute.  I know what I would have missed out on and the thought of missing any precious moment with them breaks my heart. 

     But, what about those of us who stayed at home, put our careers, ourselves, our hair, our bodies (let's face it, I didn't go anywhere but the grocery store, pediatrician's office, or walmart for at least 9 years), on hold.  Wearing the latest fashion statement just isn't the same when you are also wearing blueberry buckle, green peas, and carrots.  I like to be an individual and have my own style, but Carrie Bradshaw can't pull off wearing Gerber's idea of pureed turkey.  What is really unfair is when you unselfishly stay at home to take care of your kids and then years later you are divorced and expected to begin a career.

       Photo by ronaddsvalue

      I had a very unpleasant conversation with my lawyer one day when he informed me that a judge might look at me and say, "You are 40 years old, you have an education, you should find a job."  Well, yes, I am 40, finished college years ago and now am expected to begin a career."  Who are you kidding????!!!  I am supposed to compete with 25 year olds fresh out of college, with tons of perky, hmm, personalities, and snag myself a new career!  I kept looking around his office waiting for someone to come through the door yelling, "you are on candid camera" (and maybe give ME a check for participating)!  I am supposed to interview and compete looking like I have been up partying all night against a young thing that actually was out partying all night but looks like she should be on a Covergirl ad. 

           Checklist for interview

___ 1.  bra  (Those have been optional for WAY TOO long.)  
___ 2. a technologically advanced phone (It has to have a  gps, texting, Wi-Fi, media player, internet compatability, voice command--can I get that for my oven and washer/dryer--camera, oh, and the button to begin nuclear war.) 
___ 3.  resume  (Does references from my kids count?  I can also get a reference from my parents, they REALLY need me to get this job.) 
___4.  my reason for applying for the job  (Duh?  I need an income.) 
___5.  reason why they should hire me  (I don't know that this will work for all interviews but I can cook a meal, do 3 loads of laundry, change 20 diapers, check homework for 3 grade levels, straighten up the entire house all while watching an episode of Dr. Phil without hitting the pause button once and not because I don't know where  the remote is or am too lazy to get up and get it!)

I don't think this is going to go very well.


revealedinus2 said...

Well I am 42 and understand the dilemma of getting back out there for other honesty reasons. Mindsets in the work place tell us that younger is better. More energy, sharper in Knowledge, arrogant in many cases, jerks, backstabbing, ect... So then what the challenge is, who is the greater but hole is awarded. Rather looking for older who has gathered years of Wisdom with the Knowledge the older is bumped out. Then they wonder why some of the younger just do not get it. Older people have so much more Wisdom. Taken them out at there prime reinforces greed. Greed is told to us as the WAY! Not against the 25 year old who on top of their game. Rather lets us try to mix and marry Wisdom of the older with the youth energy and Knowledge. We may just see Wisdom beyond its years! Thank you for another refreshing well writing story of life. I enjoy your view. It brings inspiration.

thesisterhoodofspiritualsinglemoms said...

I look forward to your comments! It isn't always right is it? I am VERY fortunate that my dad and brother have completely welcomed me into the family business, it's just that it is real estate and well, right now, there's not much of one. Hopefully and prayerfully that will turn around soon. Nobody else can compete with his hours! :)