Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Spring Break Interrupted

We are having a fun, relaxing Spring Break.  I had such a good day with the kids at the mall yesterday and they were so sweet.  They needed a few new clothes and shoes and after shopping for them they wanted me to shop.  ME!!!  I saw a new scented candle in a store and the boys offered to buy it for me with their own money.  ME!!!  I wouldn't let them, though.  I love scented candles, but because of my allergies I have to enjoy them from afar.  Like still in the mall afar. I feel bad about fussing about them not helping clean up after themselves.  I have really sweet kids and that should trump any messiness!

I had a small "interruption" of Spring Break today.  Just when I thought I hated turning 40, my first mammogram confirmed it.  I had the regular screening a little bit ago and they called me after it to go in for a diagnostic mammogram. They told me not to worry that it was probably the picture and it being the first one I have ever had, there was nothing to compare it too.  But, of course I worried. My appointment was today. It was fine and after the first group of pictures they told me they didn't need to do anything else.  I don't think I realized just how scared I was until they said I was okay.  I wasn't worried for me as much as my kids.  My whole world revolves around them and I don't want them to have to worry about me. 

I know nobody wants to hear about my doctors visits.  As my dad says, it's TMI  (too much information).  But I wanted to write about it because it was a strange feeling being where I was today.  I am used to doctors and having problems, but they aren't life threatening, just more annoying that they keep me from what I should be able to do.  I know this experience is not new to a lot of you, but, it was very new to me. Just like anywhere you have a group of women, you get to talking to each other in the waiting room.  There was a waiting section between the main waiting room and where they do the testing.  You are sitting there in a gown that doesn't quite cover you up so you carry on a conversation to pass the time, and more importantly, get your mind off of your nerves.  It is general conversation, but you get to know a little about the person waiting with you even if it is only for five minutes.  They were rather crowded and statistically speaking, you can't help but think that out of the number of women you see just how many will have their lives changed forever right there.  I was so very blessed that everything was okay.  That feeling was a little overshadowed by the fact that some of the women you have been waiting with and some you have even talked to might not get the same news.

 I am very fortunate that I usually have my mom with me for most doctors appointments.  She never would have let me go by myself today.  Some of those women, most in fact, were by themselves.  I can't imagine how hard it would be to hear life changing news and be alone.  The woman that did my testing was so very nice.  I can't help but think of the women that work in this center.  It's not just part of the job to tell someone such serious news.  They have to be some kind of angels on earth to do that everyday.

I have known and do know very strong women who have fought breast cancer.  Some are still with us and some have very very sadly been taken away too soon from their family.  It isn't an issue that I have always been far removed from, it has affected a lot of women and their families that I care a lot about and love very much.  Today just hit a lot closer to home and I can't help but feel a little guilty and sad that not all of the women will get the same outcome I did.

I will go on with my Spring Break after this little interruption, but I have thanked God about 500 times already and will keep thanking him while saying prayers for all of our "sisters" out there that have had their whole lives interrupted and can't as easily get back to normal.




Gail's Personalized Gifts said...

What a wonderful heart-touching new post!! I can relate because I went through pretty much the same thing several years ago. After my routine exam, my doctor called me and told me he did not like what he saw on my test results, so he wanted me to have further diagnostic testing. It was 2 weeks before they could do those new tests, and it was the longest 2 weeks of my life!!! The whole time I kept thinking I just can't have breast cancer, then I would stop and think that maybe I did have it. I know so many wonderful women that have fought this battle - some have won and some have not. The new test results showed that I did not have it, but it gave me a better understanding of how others must feel. I am glad you were also one of the "lucky" ones and that your results were good.

thesisterhoodofspiritualsinglemoms said...

Thank you so much. It was an enlightening experience. I have had so many women I care about go through this. I can't imagine the strength they have. I fell apart the minute she told me I was okay. I have had family members and friends fight this battle. Women aren't always kind to each other, but in there today, you could feel each one kind of reaching out for support while waiting to see their results. That's the way it should be all the time. I just can't stop thinking about the ones who didn't leave with the peace of mind I left with. Thank you so much for sharing with me.

~*Lisa*~ said...

What a great post! You never realize the impact it can have on you until you are put in that position. Congrats on the good news though. I think it's important for women of all ages to have knowledge of their breasts because it can happen at any age. I liked how you said that while you had a good outcome, others that you had talked to might not. I wish so badly that we could find a cure for cancer, all cancer.

thesisterhoodofspiritualsinglemoms said...

I wish we could too. I lost both my grandparents to it. It is such a scary thing. I know God has a reason for everything his children go through and it's not for me to question, but cancer is such an awful thing to watch the people you love suffer through and both my grandparents suffered a lot. I really don't understand how children get it.