Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs

     It always seems that just when I need it, I get a sign that lets me know everything will be okay.  I am sure you do too.  Sometimes they are small and only I would notice them because it is a personal sign for me and only I get it.  Sometimes I wonder if it really is a sign or if I am looking too hard.  THEN, sometimes it comes right out in front of you and you know it is too big to just be in your head or even just for you.
     I like the small ones because I feel they are personal and just for me.  The big ones are for me, but may be for others too.  OR, maybe there are somedays I just need to be hit in the head with the obvious.  I think that is what happened yesterday morning.

     After the awful night the kids had the night before, we were not ready for our morning yesterday.  I should have crawled on my knees taking them to school because, I will be very honest, I didn't have many Christian-like thoughts night before.  I pretty much stay in my own little world.  I have had enough drama in the past that I just want to get along and have my life with my kids and be happy.  I don't like it when somebody messes with me, but I am a big girl.  But, anybody that messes with my kids is going to have to answer to me at some time.

     I know my kids are a "loan" from God.  I am blessed that He put me in charge of them and has trusted ME to raise them.  I take that responsibility very seriously.  But, it is very hard to remember sometimes that they are His children and when things happen, whether it is easy or not, I have to let Him deal with it.  I have to trust that maybe He loves these kids as much as I do.(haha)  As good of a job as I would like to think I am doing, in the end we are all His kids.  I may think I am in control, but I am not.  He is, and I should have more faith that He will look after all of us.

     I do think He gave us human emotions for a reason.  Anger is a less desirable one, but I think without anger, we wouldn't be able to express right from wrong.  We get angry when we are mistreated because it is a normal human reaction to someone doing us wrong.  It is the second stage of grief and I think it is the hardest to get out of.  The next stage is acceptance, but you have to go through anger and get past it to be able to accept a situation. 

     I feel like my kids are being forced to repeat those 2 stages every so often.  I don't like to see them hurt.  It makes me very angry.  But, yesterday morning on the way to school I got a BIG sign.  I kind of go out of the way to get my daughter to school on time.  I know that doesn't make sense, but it avoids a long traffic light and we end up having the right of way.  Sounds crazy, I know, but it keeps her from being late some mornings.  I love going this way though, because on sunny mornings we come over a hill that gives us a perfect view of the high school football field.  The sun is rising over it and it is so pretty.  Yesterday, we reached that hill and looked for the sun and got a really nice, extra touch to our usual beautiful sight.  It was long clouds, but looked like lower lying cloud trails from jet planes.  It was a really big cross in the sky made out of these clouds.

     Sydney noticed it first, then we all were just like, "Wow, we needed that this morning!"  It was big enough that maybe it was there for others who may have needed it too.  Or, it was big enough to make sure we saw it!  I am still very upset that my kids had to endure something they shouldn't have.  But, I know they are going to have disappointments and be mistreated in this life.  I just think it is so, so sad it has to come from a place that should be the total opposite of all of those things.  I am going to do what I can to protect them in the future.  God put me in charge of them and I know there are things I can do to prevent this kind of thing in the future.  But, it feels really good, safe, and secure knowing God gave us His sign that He is here, knows what happened, and if we trust in Him, He will handle it.

     We all get these signs, what signs have given you peace?



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