Sunday, August 14, 2011

Cast your cares on God; that anchor holds. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

     "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:6-7

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.  ~Leo Buscaglia

     Anxiety is a common emotion.  I am anxious about a lot of things a lot of the time.  I know I am not supposed to be.  I know I am supposed to give all my fears to God and just trust.  And I do trust in Him, wholeheartedly, but I am just an anxious person in nature.  I worry about things I shouldn't, but it is just how I am wired.  I don't like it and I wish I wasn't anxious, but it is hard to change who you are.

     My best example of me and how I stress over things is a comparison of me and my sister as moms.  She is laid back and nothing bothers her.  Her husband is the same way.  You would think with 5 kids they would be a bundle of nerves, but they are way more relaxed than some parents with only one child.  And, I don't mean laid back like they don't watch the kids or discipline.  They are both great parents and everything they do revolves around their kids.

     I am more of an anxious mom.  I would never call me laid back.  Friday night my niece, Skylar, and nephew, Macalister, wanted something from my house.  I am technologically challenged, but I think it is called an i dog?  It is a dog that dances along with an ipod.  Skylar plugged in a cord to the dog itself and then was going to connect it, I guess, to her ipod.  Well, I could just see the wheels turning in Macalister's head.  It drove me crazy that he might try to plug the other end into the wall.  I know kids today know a lot more about things like ipods and how to use them, but it would seem logical to me to think that you might need to plug it into an outlet.  It doesn't matter that it wouldn't fit, it would go in enough to shock the person holding it.  Anyway, I worried about that and got my dad who was there to make sure Macalister knew not to plug it in when he got it back home.  Just things like that worry me to death.  I always feel bad too because I never want it to look like I don't think my sister is a good mom and doesn't watch her kids.  Thankfully, she knows me better than anyone and just knows that is me and how I am.

     I happened on this Bible verse today and maybe God sees a panic attack coming my way and sent me this verse to remind me He is in charge.  I am probably never going to get used to Sydney out driving by herself.  And, this time next year, Shane will be driving too.  But, it finally hit me one day and I told her it doesn't matter if I am in the car with her or not because God always is.  Suddenly I felt better and have been a lot more at peace with her out alone since then.

     I think God gave us emotions and the ways we feel about things for a reason.  Maybe it is just to show us how much more pleasant life is without them.  When we feel angry, anxious, sad, or any other negative emotion He also shows us how to get rid of them.  When we turn things over to God and just let Him be in charge we don't just feel better in thought, it brings a sense of peace all over. 

     I couldn't make it being a single mom without my parents.  They are there for me and my kids in every sense of the word.  They take away so much of my anxiety about being by myself because I know they  will guard and protect me any way they can.  I know there are so, so many women out there who are in my shoes, but don't have family around to help them and my whole heart goes out to them.  I don't know where me and my kids would be if it wasn't for my family.  There is no way I could do this alone.  I pray for those women every night while I feel almost guilty for having the people around me I do.  It isn't fair that every mom in my situation doesn't have the people around them and the help that I do.  I hope I never take for granted how blessed I am.  My kids would have no family at all if it weren't for mine.  The security and safety I feel knowing I have people around me should be the same safety and security I should feel all the time knowing that no matter what happens God is guarding me and protecting me and wants to take away all my fears and worry.  We are all His children and He loves us all the same and is there for all of us.

     I have a lot going on right now that makes me anxious, but I just have to trust in God and know that I found this verse today as a reminder to just give it all up to Him.

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