Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Role Change

     Being a parent is hard, period.  Children are a huge responsibility and it is the parents' job to take care of them.  We know how hard it is to care for them emotionally and financially.  With two parents, either in the household or amicably divorced, it is a full time responsibility.  The ideal situation is for children to be raised with both parents in the home.  The next is for divorced parents to work together and communicate while raising their children.

     Then, there are situations where there is only one parent.  Unfortunately, this can occur because one parent has passed away, but sometimes it occurs when one parent just chooses to be absent.  This is my situation.  I was a stay at home mom for years and now I am the only parent to my three children.  I know I am definitely not alone.  There are a lot of other moms out there who have found themselves in the same situation.

     It is hard enough learning how to be financially responsible when you have only been in the home for years, but really that is the easier part at times.  The harder part is trying to spread yourself among your children to meet their emotional needs.  I am extremely blessed that I have sweet kids that don't give me an ounce of trouble.  I am also extremely blessed that I have my family living on the same street who go above and beyond their responsibilities in helping me raise my kids.

     I have looked for articles, mainly out of curiosity, about moms in this situation.  There are many about the effects of kids growing up with an absent parent, but being selfish for a minute I am curious about the moms.  I love being a mom and it is always my top priority.  It does get really hard, though, trying to juggle all responsibilities myself.  There again, my family is a huge help.  Even down to fixing things in my home, I call on my dad and grandfather.  My dad is the official light bulb changer in my house.  We have high ceilings and three floors of lights that all seem to go out at the same time.  My dad won't let me get on a ladder (that and I am still his little girl that he likes to help in any way, which I LOVE) so he comes over and gets my boys and they get it done.  That is really simple in comparison to everything else.  My dad has gotten a little cheated out of just being a grandfather to my kids so he jumps in every time they need a dad.  My brother always pays attention to my car.  He will notice if a tire is low or if there is anything else that needs to be seen about.  He also spends time with my kids. He has three of his own, but he always seems to make sure he knows what is going on with mine and gives them personal attention if he thinks they need it.  These are just a couple of examples of things the men in my family do to help.  Believe me, there are MANY more!

     I have gone from being a stay at home mom and co parent to be the only breadwinner and parent.  That is a big role change!  I don't see it as unfair or have any bitterness towards it, but I have to admit it is really hard.  Probably the hardest thing is trying to figure out how to be a dad at times the kids need a dad.  My brother, sister's husband, grandfather, and father are always there for them, but you know how it is when things come up and you really don't have time to call for back up.  We have another older family member that is a huge part of their lives.  They are so blessed.  I always say God knew this is how it would turn out so He made sure they had plenty of good men around them.

     Some things are easy when it comes to my daughter.  There are a lot of times she just needs a mom and her situation isn't affected.  But, when it comes to my daughter and dating and boys, that is a hard one.  All of the men in our family are VERY protective of her.  They don't hesitate to give their advice.  But, I always worry about her dating that the boys won't feel like they have her father to answer to.  My dad can come over, but there won't always be a man around when a boy comes to pick her up for a date.  I will say, though, I am pretty good at taking care of myself and am not really shy when I get upset, but I know it isn't the same thing.  I am probably a lot more sensitive to my daughter being mistreated by a guy because I am playing both mom and dad.  Can I use this as an excuse?  Can I get twice as mad because I am angry for 2?  I will always wonder if a boy does something disrespectful to her if they would have done it had there been a dad around.  I can't help but feel like that is a big disadvantage to her. 

     Then, there are issues with the boys and them "maturing".  Some things boys just don't want to talk to their mom about.  I am really close to both of mine and feel like we have a very open and good communication, but there again, it isn't the same as talking to a man.  AND, there are some questions I simply can't answer because I am not a man.  Like with my daughter, there are times only a mom will do, but I think it has to be harder for the boys not having a dad around.  I know they would much rather talk to a dad about sports than me!  Also, they have a few more responsibilities than they should because they are the "men of the house".  I try really hard to let them just enjoy being kids and not giving them more to do than they would have had if there were two parents in the home, but I do have to have some help at times.

     I am not feeling sorry for myself in any way.  I just take my responsibility as a parent very seriously and I can't help but feel bad that they don't have the benefit of both parents.  Just like other kids in this same situation, they didn't ask to be put in it and certainly don't deserve it.  As for the men who choose to be irresponsible, you are only missing out.  I will stop there because that is the nicest thing I can say about those men.

      I am so thankful that my kids have strong men around them, but there are just some things that only a parent can be in charge of.  It is tiring, draining, emotional, and stressful, but I guess I get one positive out of it.  I get to take sole credit for the way they turn out!

     What do you think?  Are you or do you know someone in this situation?  Did you grow up with only one parent?

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving!

     I love Thanksgiving.  It is a day that is spent with family and loved ones and there is only thoughts of thanks and blessings.  Christmas is so special, but it can be hectic, and sometimes the real reason for the season can get lost.  Today, though, it is only about being thankful for what you have and hopefully praying for those who don't have as much as you.

     There are always jokes about family dysfunction and holidays that can go awry, but I think for most people the day ends on a good note.  We were watching The Middle last night and it kept showing parts of a recipe for Thanksgiving.  The last one was the best.  After a holiday of mishaps with family members the last part said, "add a pinch of amnesia and repeat next year".

     I think we all remember what we want to remember about the holiday.  For me, it is all about family.  And, while we have new additions we didn't have in years past, we are also missing family members that have passed away.  I am blessed to have so many good memories of Thanksgiving.  Even though I am missing really important family members, it is those memories that make today so special.  I know they are still here.  I see them in my kids and nieces and nephews.  It is so funny, but my 2 year old niece, Sadie, can make these facial expressions when she is being a stinker that is just like my grandfather, Tom Ed, used to do.  She was only 3 1/2 months old when he passed away.  She has her days that she looks just like him out of her eyes and makes those faces and I LOVE it!

     I also remember Thanksgiving past when we would play games after eating and my dad and aunt Gina would argue like they probably did when they were kids.  Of course, it didn't help that my dad always cheated when we played games!

     We all have parts of the holiday that we remember.  I know my brain can only hold so much information, so I choose to lock in only the good.  I love this time of year because people seem more giving and have a little more patience.  Except for Black Friday of course when everyone is out for themselves!  We don't go shopping anymore.  We used to just for fun.  We would enjoy lunch and walk around and if we found great deals, great, but we just went for the enjoyment of it.  Our fun time would always get ruined by someone thinking we were getting the last of an item that we just happened to be looking at.  It got to be really stressful and kind of ruined the fun, so we don't even get in it anymore.  Thank goodness for online shopping!  I can't carry many bags so I take advantage of shopping online and having it delivered.  It does take a little of the fun out of it, but it is so much easier.

     I am going to go get ready to go to my moms.  I am looking forward to a day with family and thinking about the many, many ways I am blessed.  I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving and if you have any mishaps, don't forget the pinch of amnesia!



Friday, November 11, 2011

My Veteran Hero

     We made it to Friday!  And, I don't think I have had a major blonde moment.........yet.  Some slip by me though and I am left wondering why someone is looking at me funny.  The day isn't over and I am working at the concession stand tonight at the high school football game so there is plenty of time left.  Because of my back I think they will have me in the back so my super math skillz won't be exposed.  Ha,ha!  I am SO bad at math!

     We have a fun weekend planned with high school football and basketball.  Although, I am a little worried about being around so many people because I haven't gotten the flu shot yet.  I went yesterday, but my chest X ray showed I STILL have bronchitis so instead of the flu shot I got another round of antibiotics.  Wonderful.  I did drop the prescription of at the drive thru, but I put the car in park and then didn't push my luck and went in to get it later. I am convinced I am going to die of a bladder infection because I have to be close to being immune to antibiotics by now.  This will be me all weekend and until I can get the shot.


This will be me because after what I have had, the flu will kill me.  Literally.  I have gotten away with no major blonde moments because I haven't hardly been anywhere all week and I really don't want to stay home all weekend.  I did get a vitamin shot from the doctor yesterday and I am taking an arsenal of vitamins so maybe that will help.

Happy Veterans Day to all you men and women who have sacrificed your life, time, and being with family to make our country a safe and free place to live.  I saw on a church sign yesterday with the words "Freedom is never free".

This is my favorite:   This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.  ~Elmer Davis

I am proud of my veteran hero, my Papa, Stanley Bennett.  He is my hero because of the sacrifices he made for our country serving in the navy, but he is my hero for so many more reasons!  He is such a sweet, great man and I don't think I have ever heard anyone say anything bad about him.  He is a great role model for my kids and I am so blessed that God let me be his granddaughter.  I love you, Papa!

My Nana and Papa with my mom.  He left school to serve and came back to finish.  This picture was at Rock City, but my mom was born in the Athens, Ga where there was a naval military base. 

The country may honor you today, but these sweet people honor you everyday!

This picture is my grandmother, Betty (we lost her 13 years ago), and her father my great grandfather Harlan Wages.  I always loved a picture of him that he kept on the mantel in his house of him receiving an award for packing parachutes.  He never had one that failed.   We lost him about 3 weeks after we lost my grandmother.  Love you both!

Thursday, November 10, 2011


     I don't know if it is the time change or our new schedule that I like best.  When both boys were playing football, our nights were so late because we didn't all get home until later.  Now, with basketball, I feel like I see both of my boys.  The nights aren't so crazy and we have gotten caught up on a little rest.

     I woke up at 3:00 am this morning, though, and could not go back to sleep.  Between the coughing I did for three weeks and now running around trying to catch up on everything, my back and neck are hurting just from overdoing it.  I was uncomfortable, but I just couldn't go back to sleep.  We have been going to sleep a lot earlier and I don't feel quite so exhausted.

     Infomercials can be really irritating or comical, depending on your mood.  I was watching one about the Hoveround and that is a pretty neat little machine.  I was thinking about my grandmother.  My doctor says all my problems are hereditary and I think I found the source........my grandmother.  She has had problems and now her legs will just go numb with no notice.  It makes it hard for her to go anywhere by herself or stand for a long time.  She is really independent though, and I know being limited in any way bothers her.  My grandfather is really sweet and helpful, though.  When my MeMe, my great-grandmother, was still with us he would take her and my Nana to the mall.  Nana has her walker in case she needs it and MeMe had her wheelchair.  Papa said one day he couldn't resist and he pushed MeMe and then caught up walking beside her.  He said she had the funniest look on her face like, "Who is pushing me????"  He is so funny!

     I was looking at the Hoveround and thinking that would be helpful to Nana.  I don't know if she would do it, though.  She has her walker in case she needs it, but like I said, she is very independent and I don't know if she would go for it. 

     I am watching the informercial, though, (random thought, but remember when the only thing we had that was considered an infomercial was the one with the knives?  They would cut through a coke can, then a tomato with ease?  Now, there are informercials for everything!) and thinking this would be great for her.  It really gives back some independence.  They had me until this picture.


Anybody seen these ladies since their Grand Canyon trip?

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

I Can't Get This Song Out Of My Head

     I have a song stuck in my head and can't get rid of it.  Usually, I don't mind because I love music, but this song I absolutely hate.  It's "If I Die Young".  It has a pretty melody, but I hate the words to the song.  It is so depressing.

     I heard it yesterday while I was out doing errands.  I was behind before I had a three week coughing spell.  My grandmother would call episodes like that a spell.  She would always get "sneezing spells".  Well, to put it lightly I had a non stop three week coughing spell.  Now, I don't think I will ever get caught up and I am realizing just how close Christmas is.

     I hate that song because it just sends chills up my spine.  Growing up in a small town, we have lost too many kids at a young age.  When I was growing up it was usually car accidents.  And, it usually happened in the summer.  Everytime I hear that song it just brings back all those good, sweet people we lost way, way too early and it just makes me want to cry. 

     I have one out driving by herself and another one who will be in 8 months, so I just don't even like to hear the words to that song.  My kids have had classmates lose their lives to different things so they know the reality of dying young.  It is always so hard.  My twin nephews have a friend right now battling cancer and they lost a little cousin (he was on their mom's side those of you who know us may have known Mason) a while ago.  It is hard for kids to understand losing peers.  They lose older family members and as hard as that is, when they see someone their own age pass away, it just hits them harder.  My son wasn't even what you call friends with a classmate that passed away this school year, but it really got to him.

     This is when I am so glad they have their faith.  Although, it is harder to understand, we know God has a plan and we just have to have faith in that plan.  But it is still hard.

     I am going to go see if I can get this song out of my head, but as soon as I get back in the car I will probably hear it again.  They seem to play it all the time.

     Maybe I need to find a station playing Christmas music to get my rear in gear!  I can think of several that I wouldn't mind getting stuck in my head.

Speaking of Christmas, you may have seen this already, I saw it on facebook, but it is the sweetest picture.

This was written with it:

A Nativity Scene was erected in a church yard.
During the night, someone came a...cross this.
An abandoned dog was looking for a comfortable, protected place to sleep. He chose baby Jesus as his comfort.
No one had the heart to send him away so he was there all night.
We should all have the good sense of this dog and curl up in Jesus' lap from time to time.
This is too sweet not to share.
No one mentioned that the dog breed is a "shepherd!"
See More

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Are You Awake Yet?

     My sister is one of those that when she gets really tired and sleepy at night she gets silly.  She has always been that way.  She gets so silly and instead of her getting on your nerves you have to laugh with her.  My daughter, Sydney, does that too sometimes.

     I am not a morning person at all.  I am still walking in my sleep until I have had my first cup of coffee.  This is when I have most of my random, silly thoughts.  Maybe I am still in some kind dream state.  I don't know, but don't ask me anything too serious first thing in the morning.

     My mom was like that when I was growing up, except you shouldn't ask her anything important after 9:00 pm and especially if she had already fallen asleep.  One time when I was a teenager, I was just messing with her and woke her up after she had been asleep for about an hour and asked if it was okay for me to put something in the microwave.  She said yeah, completely not paying attention that it was wrapped in foil.  Luckily, I knew better.  I was just testing her and learned really fast not to ask her anything important if she had been asleep.

     I like to watch Good Morning America.  I really like the people on there and like the way they bring the news to all of us.  I am conflicted about the news ticker running at the bottom of the screen, though.  I like that it gives updated information all the time, but it can make me a little motion sick if I watch it for very long.  It was a good idea, but I think they mess with us too to see if we are awake.

   Like this morning, they had news about so many important things and this was part of their ticker:

***Wall Street bonuses expected to drop 20 to 30 percent this year***Late mortgage payments up for the first quarter since 2009***Toyota's quarterly profit drops 18 percent***South Korea lifts block on donating medicine to North Korea***Large asteroid to pass within 202,000 miles of earth tonight at 6:28 pm et.***

?????  Did you see them slip that in?  So nonchalantly, but they don't expect it just tonight, but at 6:28 pm et to be exact.  You people at GMA didn't think we would notice that did you?

The ticker continues:  ***Former President Jimmy Carter helps build 100 homes for victims of Haiti earthquake***Heavy use of methamphetamines linked to schizophrenia***

What did you say?  

See, they are hoping I am still thinking about that asteroid and didn't see the drug use and mental damage  correlation.  Did they really need a study to find the connection?  Of course it turns people into someone else and they act in a way they wouldn't if they weren't sick. It completely changes your body chemistry.  That's what it does.

And, our Georgia boy, Jimmy Carter's good deeds almost got washed out in all that!

And in my morning silliness (poor Stratton gets caught with most of it because Sydney and Shane leave earlier and I drive him to school) I am laughing about imagining 2 geeky and wierd scientists asking if they have any more money so they can see if heavy butter intake affects the heart.

Monday, November 7, 2011

R-E-S-P-E-C-T (I'll tell you what it means to me)

     Aretha Franklin said it best.      R-E-S-P-E-C-T

      Respect is a really important word to me.  I didn't just have a hormonal day the other day, I really am tired of being run all over.  It comes down to simple respect.

     I believe respect is something you earn, but I also believe that you owe a person respect unless they give you a reason otherwise.  When I meet someone for the first time or even when it comes to a stranger, I really think I should respect them until they give me a reason not to.  It is just human courtesy and I think it makes you a better person to live that way.

     HOWEVER, we are living in a different world.  I had my little hissy fit on here the other day because it seems like people are just rude and selfish a lot of the times.  I still think that.  I think people are not happy for several reasons and they want others to be just as unhappy.  I also think it has to do with a lot of different cultures living together.  It makes total sense to me that a lot of things happen out of miscommunication.  If we don't understand the ways of others then we can take things the wrong way.  That happens a lot.

     A good example is, I don't even know how I got into this conversation a while back, but I was talking with someone who has a relative in Japan.  I have never been out of the country, but there are several places I would absolutely love to visit.  It makes you smarter, more open-minded, and culturally educated to go to other countries.  In this conversation I found out things like blowing your nose in public is considered rude.  Let me just say that that should be a universal rule, ESPECIALLY in a restaurant.  How hard is it to get up and go to the bathroom while everyone else is eating.  And, eating in public is considered bad manners.  If you are on public transportation and decide to get out your take out and eat it, you are considered rude.  I don't know if I would think to educate myself about manners before visiting somewhere.  I would be worried about the travel, correct passport to get back home, money, and the language. 

     I firmly believe I don't have the  right to mistreat someone for no reason.  I don't walk around thinking all my beliefs are completely right and everyone else is wrong.  You can become a lonely person really quick if you think that way.

     What I am trying to get at is there are a lot of differences around us and that is what makes life interesting, but I have a bit of a limit.  I love my reality TV.  I watch a lot of shows just because I am interested in what others believe.  I have talked about Sister Wives before and I still watch it.  I started out watching it because it was oddly fascinating, or should I say curious, to me.  I have to admit, I actually like the people on there.  I don't believe in their situation and how they live, but I do like all of them. 

    All the above being said, I have to put my foot down and I just will not watch the new show All- American Muslim: Welcome to Dearborn.  I may sound like an ignorant fool to some, maybe even a moron, but, to me, the title of the show is an oxymoron.

     When my kids can pray in school, sing "Jesus Loves Me" on the playground, and God is put back into everything our government has taken Him away from, then, just maybe then, should we allow such a show.  Until then, I feel very much disrespected by a country who has taken away my religious rights and given them to others. It has nothing to do with tolerance when you allow one group more religious freedom than the other.  I feel I am being discriminated against.  This "respect" is one-sided and it isn't fair or right.

What does respect mean to you? 

Sunday, November 6, 2011

I Have The Best Idea!

     Oh my gosh, I needed that extra hour!  I think it not only gave me a little extra needed rest but may have made me temporarily smarter today.  (So long as I don't have to go through any drive thrus today!)

     I have the best idea!

     Why don't we get an extra hour EVERY Saturday night?  Before you think I am a complete idiot, to offset the extra hour, we just jump ahead an hour during the day on Monday.

     You are at work or school and when the clock reads 11:00 am it immediately moves ahead one hour to 12:00.  Bam!  There  you go!  We have cancelled out the extra hour on Saturday night, and what do you know?   It's lunchtime! 

     Problem solved!

     I bet if anybody used this as part of their campaign for President, they would definitely win!

Who wouldn't love an extra hour on the weekend and one less on Monday morning right before lunch?

*****I have added a page to this blog title Child Support.  If you have read my blog for very long or know me personally, you know I am in a really bad situation when it comes to child support.  I love writing this blog and don't like to waste posts on my anger and frustration with this matter.  I have added the page because I would like a place for support and much needed resources to be shared.  It is there if you need it, want to know you aren't alone, or have information you would like to share. 

Saturday, November 5, 2011

"I'm Not Gonna Take It Anymore!"

Ok.         This is a spiritual blog, and I am a very spiritual person.  But, I am human and get mad and frustrated and don't really know where to put that anger.  I am not only convinced I have hit pre menopause, but I am a single mom.......of  (as of this time next month) 3 teenagers.......and I can't keep up.  I honestly feel like I am drowning most of the time out in the open sea with no hope whatsoever of a life jacket.  (Actually, if I wasn't so scared of the ocean, and sharks, and whales, and jellyfish, and all that, a little time out by myself with no one to bother me might be nice.)

It seems like everywhere I turn around there is just selfishness.  Nobody says polite things anymore, nobody is considerate anymore.  And fuhgeddabout anybody smiling.  I said forget about it that way because I am in GA, but we seem to have a clash of Southern roots vs. Northern roots right here on my home turf and I hear words like that or other  accents that I used to only hear on TV.  I remember when my sister was about 10 and we had a family, that everybody here was friends with, that came here from somewhere way up north.  The daughter was my sister's age and they were on the same basketball team one year.  The mother completely confused my mother.  She kept asking, "When will get our shots?"  My mom kept saying, "What, what kind of shots, they don't need shots."  This whose on first conversation went on for about five minutes until somebody realized the language barrier.  The lady was asking about SHORTS and in her completely unfamiliar accent, my mom thought she meant SHOTS like vaccinations.  That was at least 25 years ago, but I guess we are slow to learn because I still get thrown off by northern accents and slangs.  If they said it in extra syllables like us instead of eliminating some, then we would understand just fine!

Before you get your "SHOTS" in a wad, I am not blaming any group for Southern hospitality turning into hostility, but we do have so many different cultures and way of life living together all over the country and I think sometimes not understanding those differences cause a lot of miscommunication.  We tend to take things the wrong way if we don't understand someone's response or action.  That is a big problem in itself, but you add the problems of daily stress and a struggling economy and there can only be problems.

I have always been taught that the good Christian thing to do is be forgiving, turn the other cheek, and pray for the person who has just mistreated you.  I still think that is the right thing to do, I just think it is becoming IMPOSSIBLE and sometimes you end up just getting ran all over.  It is hard to turn the other cheek when both cheeks are constantly getting slapped.  What do you do?  I envy people who just say what they want to and don't care how it comes out.  I wouldn't want to be rude, but I think it is a self-defense mechanism.  If people know you are going to give back what you give them, then you save a lot of time and negativity by avoiding a lot being thrown your way.

I am one of those who gets home and gets really mad about something that just happened and spends the rest of the night thinking of what I could have said.  I hate that, because before I go to sleep I would have really let them have it and I would have been able to go to sleep a lot sooner and without being all wound up.  I don't think it is wrong to take up for yourself.  Maybe we are doing those people a favor and showing them that if you act hateful, you may just get hateful back.

I was in the grocery store the other day and got to the check out line and an older woman walks up behind me after I have put about 10 items on the roller thingy and she looks at me with her 5 items like "Can you let me go ahead?" She was way in my personal grocery lane space.  There should be a sign "keep your buggy at least 3 ft. from the buggy in front of you.  It never fails I have to go back around my buggy to get my purse or just push it forward and the person behind me is right on top of my buggy and don't want to move. And, then, I am all pushed up against the wall of things you buy that you don't need while standing in line trying to get my buggy out of THEIR way. I am looking at this lady looking at me and  I am thinking to myself, Lady, you held me up in almost every single aisle.  You obviously had no where to be, you aggravated me, sometimes I think on purpose with your buggy in the middle of the aisle testing my Southern hospitality and kind heartedness and NOW you are in a hurry????????? I looked up at her and said, "Why don't you go through the empty express line.  I have too many items, but you can go through."  Then, I thought to myself:  I know you are 100 years old, but I am satisfied I, too, am going to DIE at the grocery store so you can move on over to the other aisle, OLD LADY.

You know what..........I didn't feel bad about that thought at all.  And if the b**ch gets in my way next time, I will not even think about where I have to be.  I will spend however long she is in there getting in her way, stalling with my buggy in the middle of the aisle until SHE asks ME to move, wait on her, and get behind her in line and completely invade her lane space.  I am not going to take anymore.  'Cause just like me, this s**t is gettin' old!

Friday, November 4, 2011

Happy Friday (My Weekly Blonde Moment)

     Well, I always like to start the weekend off on a light note.  Friday seems to take forever to get here sometimes and this has been one of those weeks.  So, why not make Fridays as light and easy as possible.  Maybe as light as my blonde, air-headedness can be.  I honestly have a blonde moment every single dadgum day, but some are a lot more embarrassing than others.  I prefer the ones that happen with only me around in the comfort of my own home.  But, that's just way too easy.  I always seem to find a way to make a complete idiot out of myself.

     Yesterday was no exception.  I don't seem to do well with drive thrus.  I went to the pharmacy to pick up a refill and that should have been easy enough.  One of my regular medicines, go get it, pay for it, and be on my way.  That's just not how I roll.

     I get right up to the window and she opens the drawer thingy, whatever it is called, and sends me my information to sign.  To start with, I can't get the small clipboard out of the plastic basket.  It somehow seems to be stuck.  After a few seconds, I get it out, no huge problem so far, and then I realize there is no pen.  The pharmacist kindly sends me a pen through the drawer and I try to get it with my really short arms.  She says, "Oh, no, is it too far back?"

     I start to answer her as I lean out the window to try to get it when I don't know HOW IN THE WORLD my foot left the brake and hit the accelerator with some crazy huge force, but my car sounds like I have just stopped for the pit crew and am taking off again.  I am not joking, it made this awful screeching, motor roaring sound, as my car went forward..... of course with my hand still in the drawer thing.


     Trying to act cool is just not going to work right now.  I try to put it in reverse and I am so flustered that it is not near as easy as it should be.  I don't even know what the pharmacist is doing because I cannot force myself to look at her.  Finally, I start saying, "This has been one of those," and she interrupts, "days".  I said, "No, actually weeks, about three of them.  I have been sick and my nerves are just absolutely shot."  You know, there is just no way to recover from something like that.  All I could do was hope I signed the right thing and give it back to her so I could get out of there.

     I tell my kids about it and they can't do anything but laugh hysterically.  They are so sweet.  I would like to go back and ask if they happen to have it on video because I am sure I would win America's Funniest Home Videos, but I am not in a real hurry to return to the store.  And, when I do, I think I will park and go in next time.  I still feel like a complete idiot and I am sure the pharmacist is still laughing.  She probably couldn't wait for me to pull off so she could laugh as hard as she wanted to.

Happy Friday everyone and watch out for those dangerous drive thrus!  (I think after this I will remember to put my car in park at every drive thru.)

Thursday, November 3, 2011

What's Their Excuse?

     I still can't believe the story about the pregnant woman and husband who were arrested for forgetting to pay for sandwiches.  Although, that is a little easier to believe than what happened to their poor 2 year old.  It was punishment for the parents for them to take her from them, but not near as much so for the innocent child.  It had to be traumatic especially since the mom said she had never spent a night away from them.

     Maybe there is a catch to this story and the couple really did steal the sandwiches.  Even if they did, it didn't justify what happened to their child.  What bothers me the most about this story is that if it was indeed an accident, it could happen to anyone.

     Recently, I was at the grocery store and I had a case of water and a pack of meat on the bottom part of my buggy.  I always tell them when I go through the line if I have water because I am not really supposed to lift them to begin with so I leave them there instead of having to move them even more.  That day, I had a lot on my mind and Shane was with me so I thought he got the meat off of the bottom. I get outside, start loading my car and see it still on the bottom.  I know neither of us got it and it wasn't paid for.  I just absolutely panicked and ran back in the store with it as soon as I could.  I know from an old Andy Griffith episode they never get you inside the store.  They wait until you are outside so you can't say I was going to pay for it.  I couldn't get back in the store fast enough.

     I am always afraid of holding something thinking I will buy it, decide not to, and forget I have it in my hand and walk out.  That can happen to me any day, especially with my daily blonde moments.  You add pregnancy hormones on top of it and that is just an accident waiting to happen.

     That is what bothers me the most about this story is that she is pregnant and every woman who has ever been pregnant knows you do the dumbest things when your hormones are all over the place.  When I was pregnant with Sydney, I did some really stupid things.  I drove off with my purse on top of the car, let the bathtub overflow, and forgot and put liquid dish soap in the dishwasher instead of the right detergent.  That was fun.  I have never seen so many bubbles.  I always loved being pregnant because it is the one time you can eat whatever you want guilt free and nobody looks at you funny and you can do really stupid things and nobody can really get mad at you.  Although, I was pushing it with the dishwasher. 

     The lady said she got faint and dizzy and needed to eat.  I had gestational diabetes with all three of my pregnancies.  I don't know whether this lady has that or not, but even just pregnancy itself can cause shifts in your blood sugar at times. A lot of people have commented that she should have paid for the sandwiches before eating them, and that may be a good point, but if she wasn't feeling well she probably didn't care about grocery store ettiquette.  (Oh, and there is grocery store etiquette, that is a WHOLE other blog, but just like they deserve a close parking spot, I think pregnant women should be an exception to any of the rules.)

     The store is now trying to apologize for their actions, but I think they are completely in the wrong for what they did to that 2 year old.  We have no idea how she perceived what happened to her and how traumatic it had to have been.  Children should be taken away from parents if there is any kind of abuse, and in my opinion, the one guilty of abuse here is the store.  If the parents had done something crazy, then yes, take the child, but eating a sandwich???????  I don't care how stupid something you do when pregnant is it can't be more stupid than what the people at the store did.  And, they don't have hormones to use as their excuse!

Penguin giving birth by Reynolds, Dan

Pregnant couple: I'm so glad I'm a woman/I'm so glad I'm a man. by Streeter, Betsy

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

God Given Talents

     I love music.  It can do so many different things for the soul.  Some songs I like the sound more than the words and sometimes the words to a song speak to me personally or are just a great message.  I can't imagine anyone not enjoying some kind of music.

     I think I may have a certain appreciation for it because I can't sing or play any kind of instrument.  Those things can be learned, but most of the time they are God given talents. 

     I have a lot of songs I really like to hear on the radio right now, but I am just fascinated with Adele's voice.  She sang "Rolling in the Deep" and now has "Someone Like You" playing all the time.  She, to me, has an amazingly strong voice.  It is really unique and just stands out.  She is having some trouble with her throat and it has been said in the news that she has to have surgery.  There have also been rumors that she has throat cancer, but many sources say that isn't true.  She supposedly has some problems and is expected to make a full recovery from surgery.  She did cancel all her shows through the rest of the year.

     It is confusing and frustrating when you have been given a talent and don't understand why you hit a bump in the road.  We all know one day we will be told why we have had to face certain things, but all you can do until then is have faith.  That is really the most important thing at all times.

I love these Bible verses:

Romans 12:4-8

4) Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5)so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.  6) We have different gifts, according to the grace given us.  If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith.  7) If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach;  8) if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

     It is easy when we have a God given talent.  Those things come to us naturally.  The hard part is sometimes finding what your special gift is. God has a very special plan for all of us.  Even when we have multiple gifts sometimes He has a way of leading us toward that one specific thing He wants us to do.  That is hard to understand sometimes.  Even if you may be good at several things you have to trust God to take you in the direction that is meant just for you.  I try to explain that to my kids when things don't always go as they would like, but it can be hard to take in at times. 

     My daughter's favorite quote is "Everything happens for a reason".  I love that too.  Even though I love hearing Adele sing, I think it is hard for us to remember that those God given talents are given to us solely for the purpose of serving God.  That is our whole reason for being on this earth.  It can be hard to remember sometimes because everyone stays so busy, but I have to remind myself that all the things I stress over don't really matter if they don't serve the purpose of serving God.

     I heard one of Adele's songs earlier and it just got me to thinking about the precious gifts God gives to us and how important it is to appreciate them and use them to serve Him.  Maybe those bumps in the road are just God pausing our lives for a minute to remind us of how to use those special gifts.

What is your God given talent and how do you use it to serve Him?

Here is the video for "Someone Like You".



Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Kim Kardashian Is this a new generation of marriage/relationships?

     Kim Kardashian spent more time planning her wedding than the marriage lasted.  A lot of people are wondering if the whole thing was real or just for her reality show.  I think it was real to begin with.  I watch the show and have a strange fascination with the whole family.  I should be embarrassed to say that, but, hey, I don't get out much, only concentrate on my kids, so I guess there are worse things I could do.

     Have you heard the jokes already about things lasting longer than Kim's marriage?

                   According to Twitter, here are a few other things:
  • From @Seth_Rogen: "Kim Kardashian's 'singing career.'"
  • From @lizzwinstead: "The flavor in a stick of Fruit Stripe Gum."
  • From @PBSGwen: "Herman Cain at #1 in the polls."
  • From @TobeyMonster: "[Lady] Gaga's real name."
  • From @ChristyAnderson: "However long it took to find Nemo."
  • From @AshJed: "Dora the Explorer's pause, when she is waiting for you to answer her question."
  • From @A_MgDee: "The hashtag #ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage."
  • And of course, from @SoVeryAwkward: "That awkward moment when the list of #ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage is longer than Kim's marriage."

Kim Kardashian Files for Divorce from Kris Humphries

     I know marriages in Hollywood don't normally last long, but I am wondering if there is a whole new generation of short lived relationships in the making.  Things are so different than they were years ago when people got married.  Divorce was considered taboo and nobody wanted to be a single mom.  If you got pregnant before marriage, you disgraced your family and was shipped off somewhere.  Today, women don't even go the old fashioned way about even getting pregnant.  You can just skip being with a guy physically all together.

     Maybe things are just too easy and since divorced people are the majority, leaving long lasting marriages in the minority, nobody puts a lot of effort into making a relationship last.

     I don't personally like being a divorced, single mom.  That wasn't in my plan.  Although, being married to a giant ass wasn't part of the plan either so I will take my situation over being miserable.  I do admire couples that respect one another enough to stay together.  I think that is the key, respecting each other.  Love that starts out as lust fades, and sometimes it is really hard to love someone you are with all the time.  But, if you have respect for that person you can pretty much weather anything.  I think that is what is missing is genuine respect for the person you have promised in front of God to stay with until death do you part.

     I can see a whole new generation of either divorces or single people in the future. Forget about people being together a long time.  That is a big deal and something to be proud of, but we may see more single people than even married at all before long.  My two older kids are in high school and things are so different than when I was in high school.  That was over 20 years ago, but not 100!  Not enough time has passed to change the way teens date, or should I say not date, compared to years ago.  It is so hard for me to comprehend relationships between teens.  I won't say all, but most teen boys will not ask a girl out, pick her up at her home (walking to the door is great but just picking her up is a plus today), and take her somewhere and bring her home.  I am just totally confused at how strange this is. Kids just "meet up" or whatever.  I don't get how they don't seem to care if they date at all.  Boys used to be aggressive and beg you to go out with them, now they just avoid and ignore the idea.  All the ew ways of communication doesn't help either because now a boy and girl don't even have to actually talk to each other.  Ignoring is way too easy too.  I don't know if because so many kids are from broken homes that they just don't see the purpose of a real relationship or what it is, but it makes no sense to me. 

     As frustrated as I get with the boys my daughter's age, and I get really frustrated for her and her friends, I also have a 15 year old boy and can kind of see where they are coming from.  Kids are so overwhelmed with school, sports, if they have to work, and any extra curricular activities that I don't think they want to be bothered or take the time to have to commit to anyone. When they do get a break they don't want to be hassled with impressing someone.  They would much rather hang out with their guy friends. I know with my daughter, she would like to go on a date, have someone to go to things with, but as far as being with someone 24/7 she isn't interested in that.  She likes to do her own thing and have time to herself. But, I think there are some cases where some girls (and guys) are so clingy and needy that it ruins it for those that just want something less serious.  It is like this new generation is scared to be tied down or have to commit in any way to anything.  I know they are just in high school, but I have watched and it doesn't seem to get a whole lot better as they enter their early 20's.

     Manners are a lot different too.  My kids will make plans and then they change constantly.  It drives me crazy.  Used to, when you were invited somewhere and said you would be there you went.  If someone called you, you returned the call. You wouldn't choose to just ignore someone. If it was the day of something and you decided at the last minute you didn't really want to go, tough!  You went anyway.  If you didn't, people got their feelings hurt or were offended and it made you look bad.  That isn't the case today.  When my kids change plans I worry to death about the changes, but in their words, "It's no big deal."  It doesn't bother them to change plans at the last minute or have someone else change on them. 

     I have gone way off of this subject, but it just seems that any kind of commitment or "stick to it 'ness" is really lacking nowadays.  We are going to be in a world with these future adults who won't stick with a job, partner, or anything else.  I don't see how you change it, but it sure does make me miss the way things used to be, and in my opinion, the way they should be.

     Good luck to Kim K and Kris Humphries.  (I will say that would have probably been a deal breaker for me to date a guy with the same name and spelling as my mom.  Kim's mom is Kris Jenner.)  This is big news now, but I am sure we will be talking about their new relationships and break ups and new relationships and break ups, and so on by Thanksgiving.