Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Overprotective Works For Me
I always say I spend the whole month of August trying to get the house back in order from the kids being home all summer. It is kind of a trade off, though.
We didn't have a school schedule and even though the boys practiced football all summer we still had some freedom with our time. When they are in school, I don't have to arrange the day trying to keep two big growing boys fed. Most of that "free time" this summer was spent feeding them! My brother knows they eat a lot, but he took them to a McDonalds drive thru one day and was in shock. For a while after that he would randomly ask what they had eaten that day. He had no idea how much damage they could do at the drive thru and I think he was amazed and impressed.
I am not the most strict parent alive, but thankfully, I don't have to be. My kids are normal kids and can drive me crazy at times but they are respectful of me and others, don't lie, make good grades, hang with great kids, and just don't give me any trouble. I am not one of those parents that says that as they are sneaking out of their bedroom window. They really are good kids. (Just one of the positives of living on the same street with my parents is that the kids have to go by their house when they leave and my parents don't miss a thing. My dad doesn't sleep much so he is our neighborhood watch. I have all the back up I need here.) Because they are such good kids, I hate to make them do "chores." As long as they are doing what they are supposed to, I want them to enjoy being kids with what time they have left between being busy with school and sports which isn't a lot. It is what works for us and I kind of believe in if something ain't broke don't fix it.
So, I spend some time getting things back in order, but I save some time while they are in school not having to feed them all day. It is a bit of a trade off.
Today is the first day of school and I already miss them. I like having them in and out all day. We have a lot of fun and I just like being around them. I am one of those overprotective moms, but that is okay. We have been through a hard time and I had to protect them from some things most kids don't have to be protected from. If I protect them too much now I won't apologize for it because it has become natural over time to fight with all I have. When you have to protect them from their own other parent in ways most can't imagine or understand then I don't need to apologize or explain how I have had to protect them when they were too young to protect themselves.
As I said, they are normal kids and they aren't perfect but they are good kids. We had an incidence this week when the "nature of my protection" came out. I don't like for other parents to fuss at or get onto my kids, especially if they haven't done anything wrong. I don't really think I am alone, most parents don't want anyone else disciplining their children. I mean, of course, teachers, coaches, etc. have to but that is totally different than someone just saying something to them directly that has no authority over them at all. My kids were minding their own business and doing what they were supposed to, I know this because I was there and told them what to do and watched them from a distance the whole time. My kids don't like to get in trouble with me or anyone else they just aren't rebellious like that. But, I have one standing in a line and being accused by one adult of "breaking" in line and then being broken in front of by another adult and this kid hasn't done anything wrong. He is a kid who doesn't lie or tolerate being lied to. A kid of amazing faith who prays before every meal no matter where he is. A kid that goes out of his way to be considerate of others. All that being said, he is also a kid who was disturbed by the whole thing and didn't appreciate any of it one bit and doesn't have a problem saying so. As protective as I am, my kids are very independent thinking and aren't persuaded easily. My overprotectiveness comes in because I won't let my kids be mistreated and I have raised them to be respectful so that sometimes makes it hard for them to take up for themselves. I guess it is a way of seeing people's true character and tells me what I need to know. What is worse is it showed him what they think of him. I guess I should be thankful for this knowledge, but the rudeness and in appropriateness just doesn't cut it with me. I won't ever apologize for taking up for my kids, especially when they are the ones who should be apologized to by adults who should know better. It will be a forgotten thing soon enough and I am sure we will be dealing with something else, but just like any good, protective mama, it will stay in the back of my mind, and, unfortunately, his too.
I kind of went off subject, but what kind of parent are you? Some kids do better with parents who let them fend for themselves and have a little more independence. What works for some might not work for others. I will blame my way on experience, but I sure won't apologize for it!